Bare Essentials

If you are an adventurous being, love hitching a ride to start of any obscure trail, hack around with a machete to make your own trek route, point at a hill and start climbing, sleep on a newspaper under the open sky in any forest clearing, you already are fair amount of pro. You sure don’t need a check list for you hitch hike, camping or trekking expedition.

But here’s a list of things that never make it to that check list… but believe you me, I've been there… and these really are the 5 bare essentials for a camping/trekking/hitch hiking hop!

5. Smelly Socks

Yes, camp sites in the wild will always have picnic invaders and pests like snakes, fire ants, dung beetles, scorpions and if you are lucky enough Komodo Dragons. And nothing works better as a repellent than sweat infused smell socks that have been indoors (inside a shoe) for a while.

Trust me when I say this is personal experience. At one particular camp site in the Sahayadri mountains I left my socks outside my tent, only to find that the smell had melted or peeled a snake out of its skin!! Found the hide right outside my tent!

*advantage – this really is never too much baggage; if the walk is long enough and weather permits, they’ll be ready by the end of 10-14 hours of trek or hike. If you aren't one of the lucky breeds to exude so much, beg borrow or steal.

4. Toilet Paper

While it obviously features in most camping essentials check lists, you don’t want to leave it behind for various reasons. In addition to the fact that once you are done pooping in a sand/soil dug throne of yours the soft touch of a double ply is pure bliss, it also is far better than dried leaves which are prickly. Never ever leave it out if you are on a desert camp or trail, while leaves can be prickly, cacti most certainly would turn your sweet patootie into a watering can.

*additional uses – always handy if you want to pull off a “Egyptian mummy prank/gig”; if you are the artistic sort, it comes in handy for all your paper-mache craft; and very importantly, if you have hiked to or camped at a deserted island, they can be great to write those messages in the bottle!  

3. Life-Saving Drugs - Like Tomato and Cucumber

Again, speaking from a personal experience, when you have trekked up and down a few hills (off the trail, ‘cause you wanted to get lost), have no potable water left on you (‘cause the village looks quite close by from atop the hill), and have finally realise that you are parched, sucking the tasteless nectar out of a tomato or a cucumber is by far the best survival technique you would be experiencing in a long time.

2. A Bongo or A Djembe

How else were you going to send those SOS Morse codes??

Am sure you’ll get lost some time if you trek and hike so much and camp in the middle of nowheres.

*additional use – would prove to be an excellent survival tool in case you land up in the hands of tribals, nomads or natives or a horde of Lemurs! Make friends, “THEY ALL LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT…”

1. A Comic Bartender

It’s going to be a long walk or a long night… it is always handy to have someone with you to always keep your ‘spirits’ ‘high’!

If you don’t have someone like that around you, you can always call upon Yours Truly.

PS – Fair warning, not everyone will vouch for my genre of comedy!

There you have it… go get crazy, get silly… have an adventure!